On Restraint

So it's birthday time at our house. Between friends and family we have eleven birthdays to get through in four weeks. Basically I take it one day at a time. I am in charge of gift purchases and pulling off three spectacular fetes. So, first party on the agenda Star Wars, second Purplalicious,  third Hockey Night in Canada. And oh yes, did I mention we do 'home parties'.

So far we have managed to avoid taking the kids to a prepaid party palace, where they hang from the ceiling, make as much mess as they want, and scarf down enough food to choke an elephant. If I worked outside the home I would be very tempted to book a party at one of these places for convenience sake. Frankly, this year I almost gave in. I called around. Average price for a party $250. Three kids later. Well, you do the math. I'm not knocking these parties. The idea of not having to run to the store picking up this, that and the other thing appeals to me. The idea of not having my house look like the site of an all night rave appeals to me as well. But a couple things stopped me from booking the rooms.

Firstly, if I'm putting close to a thousand dollars on my credit card my rear end better be sitting on a beach somewhere for at least a week. When Thane was born, a very wise woman gave me the best piece of parenting advice I've ever received. She told me, "Don't ever buy anything for your kids they haven't asked for." Of course, that doesn't mean buy them everything they do ask for. It means listen to your kids. Did your five year old ask for a Gap, Bench, or American Eagle sweater? No. Did your three year old ask to go to the party palace? Probably not, and if they did what's going to benefit your kid more? An overpriced party, an adorable outfit they'll stain within fifteen minutes of hitting a playground, or $100 thrown in their RESP, left to gather interest for fifteen years. This parental financial restraint also applies to Christmas gifts, room decorating, and sports equipment.  If they don't ask for it don't offer. And if they do ask for it try offering an alternative. It might work and it might not, but at least you tried.

Secondly, do you remember the birthday parties you had as a kid? I do. You know why? Because my parents made me feel special. I think because mom came from a family of eleven kids she recognized the importance of every kid experiencing the luxury of being the complete centre of attention at least one day each year. I'm not sure that can be accomplished in a room full of 500 kids. So I'll make the sad looking cake, and they'll eat it anyway because it will be exactly what they asked for. R2D2 will float on a cupcake covered in lava and his only hope of survival will be to jump onto a piece of floating chocolate rock. And Mommy's cheese pizza will come straight out of the oven all gooey and hot. And one little boy will be king for a day. And he'll remember his sneaker cake, his Brownie cake, his doll cake. Oh wait. Those were the cakes Mom made for me. Funny, I can remember every one of them, and if I think back I can probably name the kids who came to my parties. So we'll save our money and party at home for one more year. Who knows what they'll want next year? Of one thing I'm certain, even though I'm home everyday it will take me a year to clean up the mess.